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How Will You Develop Your Personality*

Why should you develop your personality? A pleasant personality is all what we want. With a pleasant personality, we can get along with people well. All the programs relating to personality development aim at building a better person, a better human being.

1. What is personality?

Personality is the overall behavior of an individual. It is the totality of an individual's characteristics. When we say you have a good personality, we simply mean that you have a good mental ability, good physical build, good emotional control, good moral and spiritual status and good communication skill. When you say you have a poor personality, you mean you can't communicate well with people. You are some sort of a shy person. You can't influence and convince people.

In fact, the term personality is derived from the word, 'Persona,' meaning 'Mask.' We all put one kind of a persona on ourselves. If you have to put on a mask, please select a cheerful and charming mask.

2. Important Types of Personality

(a) Submissive vs. Aggressive

One group of people can be submissive. They can't even assert themselves. Another group are aggressive. They always try to impose their ideas on other people.

(b) Introvert vs. Extrovert

A group of people can be introvert and remain aloof and silent. They don't want to mix up with people. Another group can be extrovert. They love to wander around with people. They can't remain silent even for a while. They are talkative.

(c) Negative vs. Positive

One group of people can have a negative personality. They always negate and oppose others. Another group can have positive personality. They are reasonable, considerate and reliable.

3. Development of Personality

(a) Untrained vs. trained Personality

If we leave ourselves to what we are, some of us may have good personality and others will develop bad personality. If we are trained, we all will acquire socially acceptable personality traits.

(b) 0-4 years: formative years of development

The period between 0 and 4 years is known as the formative years of one's life. In fact, during this period, all kinds of development take place to the maximum. We can fill the remaining gap as we grow up.

4. Parents' Role in Personality Development

Mother is the first teacher of a child. Other teachers including father come later on. The small children learn and develop their personality by imitating the behavior of the parents. The way they behave has a tremendous effect on the personality development of their children.

5. What Influence Personality Development

(a) Individual Self Development

Some people develop their personality on their own. Personality is not genetic. An introvert father can have an extrovert child. A mother with positive personality can give birth to child with negative personality. Personality is developed along with our physical, mental and emotional growth.

(b) Familial Influence

Some families are not liberal to their children. The parents and elders frame strict rules for the growing children to obey. The children can't do anything freely. The parents dictate how the children should do and behave. The personality developed in such way is mostly negative one.

(c) Social Influence

Social environment plays a very great role in the personality development of the children. Social influence includes peer group influence, neighborhood influence, school influence, religious influence, etc.

6. Measuring your personality

There are some tests that can measure your personality. These tests measure your personality based on your responses to certain questions. They ask you to complete a sentence. They ask you to describe a situation. These tests are designed to analyze your reactions and responses. Your thinking and feeling determine your reactions and responses. Your personality is measured by simply analyzing your thoughts and feeling. If so, can you deny the fact that your personality is the manifestation of your thinking and feeling?

7. How to improve your personality

If your personality is what you think and feel, you can change your personality by changing your thinking and feeling. That is as simple as that. You can think any way you want to think. You can feel any way you want to feel. If you think that you are a rat, you will definitely feel and behave like a rat. If you think you are a lion, you will act like a lion. Think what you want to become and you will become what you want to become. This is the basic rule for personality development.

Your personality is what you are. What you are depends on what you think and feel. And what you think and feel depends on what you see, hear and read. Someone nicely said, "Be careful of your thought, for your thought becomes your action. Be careful of your action, for your action becomes your habit. Be careful of your habit, for your habit becomes your behavior. Be careful of your behavior, for your behavior becomes your character. Be careful of your character, for your character determines your destiny."

There is a nice story I want to share with you. Once a cat looked into the mirror and saw himself as a lion. Do you know how the cat acted? He acted like a lion. A real lion came and looked into the same mirror and saw himself as a rat. Do you know how the real lion acted? You can guess how he acted. He acted like a rat and the cat chased him around.

It is very important to give a thought to your thinking and feeling. Your thinking and feeling is the root cause of your overall behavior. What you are today is the result of whatever you have thought and felt until now. If you are satisfied with your existing personality, go on thinking and feeling the same way you have been doing for the last so many years. If you want to improve or change your personality, then change your thinking and feeling. If you want to change your thinking and feeling, look at everything positively. Nurture your positive emotions. Read life history of great people. Do every day some constructive works. That is the easiest way to improve your personality.

Exercise for improving your personality

To change your personality into an attractive positive personality, start thinking the following:

1) I am friendly.
2) I am amazing.
3) I am amiable.
4) I am assertive.
5) I am attractive.
6) I am beautiful.
7) I am great.
8) I am blissful.
9) I am brilliant.
10) I am broadminded.
11) I am assertive
12) I am calm.
13) I am careful.
14) I am caring.
15) I am charming.
16) I am cheerful.
17) I am cool.
18) I am confident.
19) I am considerate.
20) I am elegant.
21) I am expressive.
22) I am extraordinary.
23) I am fair.
24) I am forward.
25) I am gallant.
26) I am gregarious.
27) I am happy.
28) I am hopeful.
29) I am hospitable,
30) I am important.
31) I am impressive.
32) I am incomparable.
33) I am jolly.
34) I am kind.
35) I am lovely.
36) I am moderate.
37) I am modest.
38) I am noble.
39) I am optimistic.
40) I am outstanding.
41) I am overwhelming.
42) I am peaceful.
43) I am polite.
44) I am prominent.
45) I am realistic.
46) I am reliable.
47) I am noble.
48) I am smiling.
49) I am spirited.
50) I am victorious.

You can think more about whatever you want to be. But you should think with emotion (feeling). Far better, you should do the loud thinking. Cite the statements audibly to yourself. This will function as your affirmation. Your affirmation of your desire to improve your personality should go deep down into your subconscious mind (inner mind). The more you repeat them, deeper they will submerge. You know, your subconscious mind will prompt you to do whatever you seriously want to do.